back by popular demand...

Well, I'm finally back. After getting bombarded with calls and emails daily asking me to please resume my blogging life, I've given in. So, to all my fans out there (and you know who you are)....this is for you.

A lot has happend since September.
I've moved 3 times.
Planned a wedding.
Worked at 3 different places.
Had my first wedding shower.
Won an easter egg hunt with my 2 year old nephew.
Been to Ohio for the first time.
Celebrated a 2 year anniversary with Mark.
etc., etc., etc.

It's been good. I'd recommend it. Except the whole moving and working at different jobs every 8 weeks thing. That sucks. By the time you get settled in, figure out the system, get to know the people, and feel comfortable doing everything you need to do, you are more than halfway finished and have to start it all over again.

I am now currently living in Greenville. I like this city.
I just moved from Spruce Pine, NC. That is nowhere close to a city. It's more like a few roads in the mountains that happen to have a post-office, some churches, and a couple of fast food restaurants. Oh, and a laundromat. That is pretty much what makes the town. haha. It was cool though. A nice change of pace. No traffic. No noise. Pitch black sky at night with thousands of stars. And really country people who say "youins" way too much. They even have different verbages and tenses of "youins." Like, "yunsins," "youinses," and "yunseses." Yes, it's quite entertaining, I know. But the people were fantastic, and I really enjoyed my time up there.
Greenville is nice though, because I have friends here. It feels like it's been awhile since I've lived anywhere with a lot of my close friends nearby, so that's been REALLY nice to get to hangout with different people, and just have fun and relax in a social environment.

On a side note, and to close this one out...I would just like to say that I beat Brantly and Lindsay in Scrabble tonight....and had all vowels for more than 50% of the game. But, I overcame the odds and rose to the occassion. AAAAAAAAAND I'm gonna call myself out and say that I honestly spelled this word during the game, and then laughed my head off: "toeing." Yes, "toeing." Which is totally supposed to be spelled "towing" but during the heat of the moment, you aren't thinking logically...you just want the points, dangit. haha. It was quite amazing. Then I proceeded to say later during the game (as we were expecting Marissa to show up), "I think she just "droved" up." WOW. what is wrong with me? haha. Maybe I spent too much time in Spruce Pine. hmmmmmm......
haha.

Until the next time......
PEACE.

I miss my fiancee.
He is in Indianapolis this week, which really makes no difference because I normally don't see him during the week even if he's in Columbia, but for some reason it's just different knowing that he's so many states away.
I wish we could get married tomorrow.
We talk about it everyday....and everyday we wish we could get married tomorrow.
We are anxious and ready for it to happen.
It's crazy how that works. How you don't really realize how ready you are until it happens, and how God readies your heart for the perfect time - because now that we know it's going to happen it's all we can think about, and all we want.
We aren't really too concerned or super-interested in the whole "wedding" thing like most people seem to be. We are ready to just do life together. I mean a party is cool and all...but it's not what it's all about.
But alas, I have to finish school before all this can go down, which really stinks.
So until then...
we will keep being ready for "tomorrow."

I'm getting MARRIED!!!

Last night Mark asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.....
and I said of course.





crazy, huh?
I can't wait.....

I can't sleep. I don't know why, but my mind won't quit racing. Won't quit remembering. Won't quit thinking.

I remember the poetry.
I think about my life this time last year.
I wonder about hearts. and lives. but mostly hearts.
I am curious.
I remember the parking ticket I got today and how ridiculous it is.
I can't sleep.

"there was no judgement in your eyes, just the silent peace of God that felt so real in you...."

This weekend I got to spend some marvelous time with the fabulous Carol Marie Hegler of Kershaw, SC. I also got to spend some marvelous time with Lindsay Nicole Koeper of Hanahan, SC. My boyfiend was also involved as well. We (Mark and I) headed up to Clemson and got to eat at the most fabulous Ancheaux's which I often crave weekly, although there is only one on the whole planet, and it's 4 hours away from where I live. We then hit up a concert, Sonic, and Chris' house, before laying our heads at Lindsay's new apartment. Saturday Mark and I drove up into the mountains and made several stops along the way....Bald Rock, Cesar's Head, Brevard, Hendersonville, then to Spartanburg for an AMAZING concert. Shane and Shane rocked my socks. It was seriously phenomenal. There was straight up WORSHIP goin' on in that auditorium.

I've started school back after 2 and a half weeks of vacation. It's not a super-packed schedule which is nice.

One of my best buds Rachel got engaged which is also smile worthy.

I'm hungry for some real food right now.

This post is dedicated to: Carol Marie Hegler of Kershaw, SC.

oh - and this is hillarious - check it out.
this is a product of Lexington, SC, ladies and gentlemen (and she actually won 3rd runner up I think): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WALIARHHLII

poor girl. it actually really makes me sad for her - you know she was so nervous she couldn't think straight, but still...this is terrible. (but funny).

through a tear soaked shirt I wonder what has become of it. I cry in agony over words written 3 years and 22 days ago. Tears soak the pages. The words are written so beautifully, so simply, so pure. It was a deception. I am not what was depicted - I was a seed cast in the shadows. And God is screaming at me, 3 years later. God is making me look in the mirror again. Past what the world may see. He is ripping open the wounds, and the blood is covering me. But it isn't my blood this time. My blood left stains...the kind of stains that you hate. the kind of stains that ruin something beautiful. that never go away, and can never be forgotten. But this blood is different. This is the blood of my Father. The blood that purifies all unrighteousness. And as I was encouraged to do 3 years and 22 days ago, I will "stop talking about being pure in heart and living a rightoues life" but I will strive for it daily. I want to be one of the flowers depicted...I want to stand beautifully in the garden, and see my Maker smile.

"We will never have pure hearts unless we do whatever it takes to consistently get ourselves into the presence of God."

I'm sitting on the porch in the midst of a storm. I just heard the longest rumble of thunder I think I have ever heard, and it was awesome. It is windy, and pouring down rain, and thunder and lightening all around. Yet there is a sense of peace about it all. I love it. I watched it roll in as I was playing frisbee with a friend, and watched it turn from a sunny afternoon to almost nightfall in seemingly minutes. It is amazing how powerful God is, isn't it?

I haven't written on this thing in a while, it seems. I don't know why, sometimes I just fall out of the writing mood.

I had a thought yesterday, that I may try to implement. I am going to try to set a daily (or weekly) "goal" for myself. Things are so much more attainable that way. For instance, I REALLY need to start eating more vegetables, so setting a goal for myself to eat at least 3 servings of vegetables on Monday. You know how it goes...that way it doesn't seem unattainable or out-of-reach. I dunno...just a thought. Perhaps I will put it into practice soon.

I have really been in the mood to play lately. I really think I could play every single day and be totally happy. Even if it's just for 15 minutes. I need to toss a frisbee, or a baseball, or kick a soccer ball, or do something...anything. It is an urge every single day. I love the urge...just wish I had more people around Charleston to play with. I'm glad Mark is the same way...because every time we are together, there is play involved. I love it. I like that God made me tick this way.

Speaking of God, He's really cool. Just thought I'd throw that one in there.

I am reading a great book right now by Max Lucado, called "Traveling Light." It is a journey through Psalm 23, and it's really insightful. It's about dropping all of your "baggage" and experiencing freedom in Christ. I've never read a Max Lucado book, and I'm really enjoying it. I am eager to finish though, because I want to start my next one, "What's So Amazing About Grace?" It's actually Danny's book and he loaned it to me about 2 and a half years ago...and I still haven't made it past chapter 1. But, I am determined to dig into it soon. Especially after hearing my pastor recommend it and speak extremely high of it in his sermon this past Sunday.

Speaking of, John Reeves is an AMAZING pastor. I could seriously listen to him talk about God for hours on end. He is so deeply entwined in the Lord that the Holy Spirit just pours out of him. He preaches striaght from the Bible. Doesn't preach sermons on "the five F's of Christianity" or "the ABC's of loving your neighbor" or whatever - he teaches verse by verse and just digs out so much from the pages. He is so in love with God that it makes me want to love God so much more...because I can see it in him. I can see the passion, and the desire, and the struggle, and the growth, and the knowledge. I dunno...I am just so encouraged every time I am able to hear him speak. Sunday he was speaking on Galations 5, and on truly being free in Christ, and what that means. He dug into what he called "the far right Christians" who are such rule-followers that they can't experience the true love of Christ that He meant for us to experience, because they beat themselves up every time they screw up, and "the far left Christians" who take "freedom in Christ" as meaning they can sin all they want and it's ok because they are forgiven. It was extremely insightful.

I really like my boyfriend. He sent me a "just because" card this week that was amazingly sweet. It was really funny too. The front of the card said "Remember, it's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing milk-bone underwear." Anyway - he's great, so I thought I'd throw that out there. We went shaggin' on the 4th of July, and straight tore up the dance floor.

In other news, I am trying to figure out my life, and where I will be going from January-April for my clinicals. January-February looks like it may turn out to be either Spruce Pine, NC, or Salem New Hampshire. Those are my top 2 choices anyway, so we'll see where the lottery (and God) chooses for me to go.

The rain is slowing down now. The thunder has quieted. It feels delightful.

There are only 54 more days left until kickoff of Tiger Football, so go ahead and get excited. Goodness knows I am. OK well, it's Wheel-of-Fortune time, and my friend is on there every night on the "Wheel-Watchers" club commercial...so I'm gonna go turn on the tv and laugh at her a bit. haha.

Peace......

photo review

Laden with guilt and full of fears
I fly to Thee my Lord
And not a glimpse of hope appears
But in Thy written word
The volumes of my Father's grace
Does all my grief's assuage
Here I behold my Savior's face
In every page

This is the field where hidden lies
The pearl of price unknown
That merchant is divinely wise
Who makes the pearl his own
Here consecrated waters flow
To quench my thirst of sin
Here the fair tree of knowledge grown
No danger dwells within

This is the judge that ends the strife
Where wit and reason fail
My guide to everlassing life
Throughout this gloomy vale
O may Thy counsels, mighty God
My roving feet command
Nor I fosake the happy road
That leads to Thy right hand

images from last weekend.

you're it.

Mark and I played "tag" on Sunday afternoon in my front yard at home...and let me just tell you...it was a blast.

"tag with just 2 people, Katie?" you're probably saying...and my answer is, "yes."

and no, we aren't 9 years old. haha.

it was a really good time - and I'll be honest, wore me slap out. Seriously - you just sprint. that's it. sprinting and cutting, and bending your body in crazy ways to stay away from those outstretched fingers that are just centimeters from your back. I realized that I'm no longer in elementary school and was out of breath within about 45 seconds...but I of course, kept wearin' the pants off my boyfriend with my lightening speed. I pretty much ran him into the ground and crowned myself "queen of tag." (although he may disagree...don't believe a word he says). haha.

So, next time you get the opportunity (i.e. - you and someone else are in some grass with no shoes on, and you are willing to get sweaty and stinky and out of breath)...PLAY TAG. You won't regret it. I promise.

Mark surprised me and took me to see a Broadway musical last night. "Cats" was playing in Greenville at the Peace Center for their 25th anniversary - and it was INCREDIBLE. Those people are insanely talented.

Also, an FYI:

My top 3 NASCAR drivers are as follows:
1. Jimmie Johnson
2. Kasey Khane
3. Karl Edwards


The End.

hearts tangled
tears wept
love lost
like dust, swept

there are some questions I will never know the answers to. my life has been a journey that I never imagined would take the course that it has taken...that I could have never even dreamt in my wildest dreams. the biting reality of its course boggles my mind and clouds my perception quite often. it is no fantasy. life doesn't take place in a storybook, and I delight in that fact. but reflection brings question and with it, a ripple of emotion.

desire. (emotion). longing. (complete). fulfillment. (broken). love.

there are a lot of things I miss. a lot of things I wish I could change. a lot of things I weep for. a lot of love I wish I could give. but no regrets.

my innermost being is known by the creator of the universe. and one day, all of the questions will answered...

until then, I will hope.

"Now, love is not a feeling in your chest
It is bending down to wash another’s feet
It is faithful when the sun is in the west
And in the east"

-Andrew Peterson

God is good.

Tonight was wonderful. I got to hangout with Lindsay and Marie downtown at a coffee shop for awhile, then we all grabbed some dinner, and Marie and I went down to the battery afterwards and walked around. It was BEAUTIFUL out there tonight. There was an almost full moon, and it was the perfect weather out there on the water. The scenery could honestly not have been better. Nor the conversation. It was so great to get to walk around outside for an hour or more and just talk about life. Talk about what God is doing in our lives right now, where we are, how we have grown, what we are struggling with, what we need encouragement with, and what we are learning.

In my opinion, that is an integral part of the Christian life. Growing with other people, and spending quality time with people listening to their hearts and sharing your own. It is realizing your shortcomings, and being honest with one another. It is saying some things that may be hard to say. It is loving each other in spite of, and because of the crappiness that we know exists in each others lives.

It was definitely some refreshing fellowship.

Thank you, Jesus.

YAHWEH

Yahweh. That's God's name. God told us His name. How awesome is that? God was called many things in the Bible, "El Shaddai" (God Almighty), "El Elyon" (God Most High), etc. but those names just describe God. Like calling me "daughter," "student," or "friend." But, my name...is "Katie." There's a sense of belonging, of closeness, of friendship, when you call someone their name. I absolutely love it when people say my name. I actually told Mark that the other day. If someone says to me, "I love you" it is a great feeling...but if someone says to me, "I love you, Katie." - wow. It changes everything for me. There is ownership in it. There is some extra little spark to the statement that brings it to life.

Yahweh. God told us His name. Well, really, God told Moses His name. God told Moses "I AM who I AM. When you go to the people of Israel, tell them 'I AM sent me to you." Then, he later reminded Moses, "I am Yahweh. To Abraham and Isaac and Jacob I appeared as El Shadai; I did not make myself known to them by my name Yahweh."

God never gave us a definition of the word "Yahweh" but it seems to be a combination meaning "I am" and "I cause." God is the one who is, and the one who causes.

And that is big.

It means that God is unchanging. When we use the words "I am" - they are usually followed by an adjective. Right? I am....happy. I am....sad. I am...frustrated. But God didn't follow it with any adjective...He only said "I AM." That is because God never changes. He doesn't need a description. He is what He is and what He has always been.

God is. God is constant. He is solid. He is unchanging...and that is comforting. No matter where we go, God is there. No matter what our mood, God is steadfast. No matter what baggage we are carrying, God is the same today as he was yesterday and will be tomorrow. It is comforting to have that consistency in my life. To know that there is a God who created me and loves me unconditionally - and CANNOT and WILL NOT be changed. He is a still point in our chaotic lives.

Yahweh....

service with a smile

I had a really great experience at the grocery store today. For real, Harris Teeter had me smilin' when I left. I went in to get some produce, fruit, and milk. First, I walked in, grabbed my basket, and walked over to the citrus area. A man that worked there smiled and said "hi, how are you today? can I help you find anything?" -- I said thank you, but no, and continued on with my shopping. Got some oranges, squash, zucchini, spinach and tomatoes and continued on toward the dairy area. I get there, and a man that was stocking the milk smiled and said "hi, how are you?" -- I spoke, got my milk and yogurt and went to check out. There was no line, I walked up and gave the lady (Patty), my basket, and she was like "Hey there! How are you today? Did you find everything you needed ok or have any problems?" We chatted a second as she scanned my items, and I was on my way. But I'll tell you what, it was quite a pleasant 10 minute shopping adventure. Thank you, Harris Teeter, for making my day a little brighter. :-)

"too tough to tame"

My baby took me to the race! (and we even got to wear these awesome pit-crew shirts...are we hard core or what?!?) yeehaw!




(sadly, it got rained out, and we couldn't make it back the next day. I told him it just means we have to catch another one sometime in the near future).

We are the ones who will proclaim
The power of God upon this age

And we will unite in our lives
As we fall in love with Christ
Yes, we will unite in this time
If we're bold enough to say

HEAL OUR HEARTS and make us one