screaming loudly but don't worry,
no one hears it.
wishing there was something
anything
inside.
hope is bright then in a moment
leaves me blinded
alone in my world of confusion.

I never knew it could be so loud.

addendum to the addendum

It turns out that Stacy bought me a frozen bananna. Grant was just the deliverer. It was good.

I like them both.

addendum

I would also like to say that Friday night at Amos Lee, a great friend named Stacy "supported" me, if you will....and a good time was had by all. Trust me.

And the company at the fair Saturday night was absolutely fantastic...even if the people Mark and I were with (stacy and grant) punked out on the best ride that was there. ;-) juuuust kidding. Oh, and my stupendous friend Grant bought me a frozen chocolate bananna on a stick because he knew I wanted one. What a guy. :-)

welp, it's official. I'm bored outta my mind. I've been home from school for 2 and a half hours now....and done nothing exciting. made a grilled cheese sandwhich. walked the dog. checked the mail (which is exciting, but I didn't get anything), watched wheel of fortune, and jeapordy!. Jeapordy was slightly entertaining, and had some really funny moments....like the category "football" and no one got any answers right. For instance, what does PAT stand for when the kicker is kicking this? Yep, no one got it.

Too much alone time.

Good thing there's a dog around to keep me company, although she took the biggest, messiest crap ever this morning, which I was still trying to clean up this afternoon. She's passed out on the couch right now, sprawled out in what looks like an extremely comfortable position.

I was going to play frisbee tonight...but didn't get home from school in time to change and get out there - and was hoping to hangout with a friend anyways, so wasn't going to go. Buuuut, that didn't happen either.

This wasn't meant to be a negative email - I was just typing b/c I'm bored. But, Deal or No Deal just came on, and I hear Howie calling me back to watch more mindless television. I should be reading...maybe I will.

My boyfriend also made a nice suggestion of what I should do with my night that I am totally considering. (he's really great, by the way).

This weekend I saw a FANTASTIC concert. Amos Lee played at the Music Farm here in Charleston - and it was by far one of the best concerts I've ever been to musically. He was phenomenal.

Then I went to the state fair the next night, and my boyfriend won me a "family guy" pillow. We also got to ride a freakin' awesome ride, and eat some really not healthy food. Good stuff.

School is back in session. Gonna take a little bit to get back in the swing of things. It's harder than I thought it would be.

Well, back to sitting on the couch. Feel free to come keep me company if you are in the nearby area, or even if you're not.

Oswald is the man.

"Then Jesus prayed this prayer: 'O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding the truth from those who think themselves so wise and clever, and for revealing it to the childlike.'"
Matthew 11:25

In spiritual relationship we do not grow step by step; we are either there or we are not. God does not cleanse us more and more from sin, but when we are in the light, walking in the light, we are cleansed from all sin. It is a question of obedience, and instantly the relationship is perfected. Turn away for one second out of obedience, and darkness and death are at work at once.

All God's revelations are sealed until they are opened to us by obedience. You will never get them open by philosophy or thinking. Immediately you obey, a flash of light comes. Let God's truth work in you by soaking in it, not by worrying into it. The only way you can get to know is to stop trying to find out and by being born again. Obey God in the thing He shows you, and instantly the next thing is opened up. One reads tomes on the work of the Holy Spirit, when one five minutes of drastic obedience would make things as clear as a sunbeam. "I suppose I shall understand these things some day!" You can understand them now. It is not study that does it, but obedience. The tiniest fragment of obedience, and heaven opens and the profoundest truths of God are yours straight away. God will never reveal more truth about Himself until you have obeyed what you know already. Beware of becoming "wise and prudent."

-O. Chambers

reality check.

I got this from my buddy Jon. He's awesome. He apparently got it from a guy named Matt Chandler. I'm sure he's awesome too.


"The law was not given to merely be obeyed. It was given to reveal you can't; and in our failure, we would find our hearts ready for a saviour. . . You just kept failing and pretending you weren't failing and finally you just gave up and you thought 'Jesus doesn't work for me' and in reality you never really tried Jesus because Jesus is saying 'Of course you can't. Of course you can't, are you tired enough?'" - matt chandler

crazy beautiful

The past week of my life has been a whirlwind, to say the least.

But never before in my life has God been so evident.

There is a long way to go - but He has been faithful through and through and I am confident that He will continue to be....whether His hand is seen directly or not.

Forgiveness abounds.
Chains are broken.
Peace encompasses.
Love wins.
Love ALWAYS wins.