It's been awhile...

Hello hello...

It's been awhile, and since the last post I've made I have found myself in a new environment, a new home, a new school, new people, and new beginnings. It's been a journey thusfar, but one in which I am glad I am able to travel upon.

I'm sitting on my back porch right now, my favorite place I've found in this big city. It's so peaceful, so quiet, so beautiful. I am no more than 20 yards from the marsh, which looks out upon acres and acres of beautiful wetlands. I think I love it at night the most, when the moon reflects off of the water practically close enough for me to touch. I feel a little freer from life when I'm out here. Some mornings I come out here and just sit for a little while and watch the sun peak out. I sit, and sometimes pray, and sometimes read, but mostly I just sit. It smells of salt, and the air is thick...and I love it. It is alive out here.

I say it's been a journey since I've been here - and it has. It's been hard at times, easy at times, I've loved it at times, I've longed to go back in time to another place, I've hung out with awesome people, and longed for those a little more familiar. I've been busy beyond belief, confused, overwhelemed, void of thought, lonely, comforted and encouraged.

School is hard and will only get harder. It's Friday afternoon, and I should be studying. I don't know if I've ever studied on a Friday afternoon in my life. Things are going to change, that's for sure. I love it though. I love the classes I'm in - the lectures I hear - the things I'm being taught and trying to absorb. It's just so much, so fast. I am already getting frustrated that it is so difficult, and some things are hard for me to understand. I have already gotten the feelings of doubt, and the feelings that I'm not smart enough to be here, or that I won't make it. I try not to entertain those for too long. I want to be here. I want to learn this stuff. I want to be able to comprehend it and keep up with it and understand it completely. It will definitely take hard work though, which is very hard to do when I feel like I am so exhausted sometimes. I'm sure I will get used to the workload soon enough, though - and be more at ease with the coursework.

The people I've met so far have been fantastic. My class has 54 people in it, all of which I will be getting to know very well over the next 3 years, I'm sure. I'm excited about that. I love knowing people...where they've been in life, what they've experienced, where they want to go, their thoughts, their ideas and their passions. It will be fantastic. There are people from all over the country in my class, too. People from Iowa, Wisconsin, Illinois, California, Alabama, Maryland, North Carolina, Louisiana, Georgia, and I can't even remember where all. I've already told Brian I am going home with him at some point, so I can visit Chicago and maybe see a Cubs game. Good stuff.

I miss my other fantastics. I hate not being able to know what's going on in everyone's lives. I haven't talked to some of my best friends in two weeks. Carla got a job in DC, and I haven't been able to even be excited with her, yet. That aspect really stinks. I'm just so exhausted and have so much hanging over my head when I get home at night that I don't feel like I can talk to anyone...and during the daytime I don't have any minutes to use to call people and catch up. This weekend I am going to try and catch up on returning the many phonecalls I've gotten, and take advantage of the good ole Free Weekend system. So, if you called me and I haven't gotten back in touch with you - I apologize.

I'm reading an incredible book, by the way, called "A Million Pieces". Bri recommended it to me, and it's hard to put down. I wish I had more time to read it - but the past few days it has been my down time escape. It's about a man trying to overcome his alcohol and drug addictions - and his experiences in rehab. I love the way it's written - I love the content of it - I love just love it. It's a little rough around the edges, so I don't recommend it if you don't like foul language, or very graphic descriptions of things.

OK - I would love to write more, but med term is calling my name - so I should go work on school stuff for a little while. I will try to post more often, but I can't make many guarantees as of late. If you don't mind, please say a prayer for me if you could...that'd be awesome.

PS: Does salty air hurt new laptops? That's right...a brand new laptop was given to me, how nice is that? I absolutely love it. But I don't want to ruin it - so if you know anything about computers, and you think I shouldn't sit out here with it for so long, let me know - I don't want to screw anything up, or beat it up after only a week.

Love you guys --
Peace....

"Crash"

"What's missing in LA is the sense of touch. Everyone is always behind metal and glass. WE CRASH JUST SO WE CAN FEEL SOMETHING."

In a universe in which it seems like we're all racist puppets, Paul Haggus (not sure if that's how you spell his last name) displays through a series of entertwined events, people, and car crashes, how much racisim really effects everyone, on a daily basis. In my opinion, Haggus does an excellent job of showing this perspective from all angles....which is definitely hard to do, when making a movie about a topic of this magnitude.

This movie is a must-see, and actually, I wish that it could be a requirement that everyone in America be made to watch it. Whether it would help in the problematic racial mindset that so many people are stuck in, I don't know...but maybe it would at least open some people's eyes to the extent of its prevelance.

So yea...if you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend you do. And I hope you're lucky enough to watch it with someone as great as I got to sit by to watch it.....then, my friends, it will be a time that will not be forgotten.

love.

spanglish

I wish my feet didn't have to hit the floor tonight.
It's nights like these that make it hard for me to leave...

love.

I heart music.

So, can I tell you how much I love music? I really do. I could listen to music all day everyday, I think. Sometimes I wish that life was like the movies where their was constant background music playing as your mood changes, or as the scenery changes or as a sort of foreshadowing of events. Sometimes I have that background music in my head. Or someone will say a certain word or phrase, and automatically a new song will pop into my head. That always makes me smile when that happens...good thing it happens often. I love how their can be so much emotion packed into a single song...so much feeling...so much passion. I love how a song can come on and change your mood in an instant. Or bring up a memory...whether it be a fond one or a not so great one. I love how some songs can make you think. I love how some songs can take away every care you have in the world for that 4 minutes you listen to it. I love how music can sometimes distract my thinking...maybe that's a bad thing. I love crying when I hear certain songs, and cheesin' real big when I hear others. Goodness....isn't it just great???