just ask.

something to chew on:

"Autonomous individualism has divorced sin from the caring community. Absolute relativism has regarded moral values as so ambiguous that there is no measuring rod against which to assess anything as sin. Thus modernity...has presumed to do away with confession, and has in fact made confession an embarassment to the accomodating church of modernity."
-A. Mohler

So, God is awesome. Seriously. I got into church yesterday morning, and really prayed that God would do something deep. That I wouldn't just sit there and listen to the sermon and think it was good, sing a little more and leave. When I walked in, I wasn't really in the mood to be in church for some reason, so when I prayed this, I really was praying for open ears and even more so, a heart that would be open enough to be stirred.

I had no idea what the sermon was going to be about - but God did just what I asked. I wept inside during parts of his sermon, and tried to hold back the tears from falling down my cheeks. I was able to keep them in for a little while, but then the flood gates seemed to open. My insides were so broken that I was crumbling inside, and the tears began to fall without cease. God was shaking my core with just a few sentences that Buster was saying.

He spoke on two things that distinguishes believers, from a passage in Colossians (chapter 1): having faith in the person and work of Christ; and love for all the saints.

He mentioned some things that ripped me apart inside because of the overwhelming amount of love for a friend that He has put in my heart. The tears began to fall and wouldn't stop. Have you ever loved someone so much that you have been that broken for them? It is sincere. It hurts. It makes your soul ache and long for healing. Tears fall as an overflow of what you are experiencing on the inside that is unexplainable. It longs for truth to be revealed, it knocks the breath out of your lungs, it is humbling to think that you could ever love someone so much that you could feel so much hurt inside for them. It feels desperate.

Jesus Christ can shake your soul. He can give you more love in your heart than you ever imagined your heart could hold - He is grace - He is depth.

God certainly answered my prayer and unquestionably went deeper than simple words from an ordinary man (my preacher) could have ever gone. He penetrated the deepest of deep and for that I am thankful. Prayer is powerful. I don't seem to do enough of it though, for some reason.

Get on your knees. Christ will show Himself to you if you honestly and desperately seek. All you have to do is ask.

So, if you saw me at the end of church and it looked like I had just cried my eyes out...it's because I had. Thank you Jesus for love so deep it hurts.