my dream.

I got to thinkin' tonight, as I was brushing my teeth - and I realized what my ideal life would consist of right now, if I had the choice....the means....or the courage to do it.

I would absolutely love to live somewhere in the mountains - in the woods - in a forrest - alone. In a tent, in a cabin, under the stars....somewhere "away." Anywhere away. I say alone, but not really "alone." I would love to be on my own in nature - and just "be." Just be peaceful. Escape this life....escape the craziness......the drama......the stress.......the deadlines......the pressure......the immaturity......the bickering......the hate......escape everything that has to do with anything of this often ridiculous society. And just "be."

I said I would like to be alone - and that is true - I would love to just be able to be free within myself - with no restrictions - no boundaries - no drama - no worry - no expectations - no fear of letting people down - nothing pushing into my heart that hurts me or confuses me or creates a sense of flusteredness (if that's a word). But...even moreso than spending it totally alone - I would love to get to spend a week at a time with different people. Just one person a week. One relationship to focus on - to let grow - to nurture - to restore - to refresh.

How amazing would that be? For a week, be surrounded by serenity, by nature, by peacefulness, with ONE person that I could pour into and learn about and learn from. One relationship, not hendered by this world....one relationship where there isn't any stress pressing in on it for a week....one week of creating an unadulterated bond with someone - outside of this craziness. Where there aren't other people around. No one is competing for someone elses attention, or searching for approval, or forming "cliques" or, or talking about the other people around, or disagreeing, etc. etc. etc. Just me and one other person. Plain and simple.

A pure relationship. The week with this person could be full of talking, full of digging into each other's hearts, and learning, and thinking, and being adventurous, and having fun.....or it could be one of relative silence - a week of reflection - of hiking - of camping - of being in nature but just knowing that there is the comfort of that other person by your side.

A relationship where for at least one week there aren't other people crowding in, or other obligations, or things hindering ourselves - where both people could just "be." Where there aren't judgements passed, or bickering, or anything but contentment and love.

Oh man, I would love that in my life right now. I am lying here in bed imagining this time with certain people and how I think the week would go....what would be said, or done, or talked about and it makes me long for it so badly.

I'd have to say it would by far, be the best thing my heart could do. Is escape this often confusing, stressful, fast paced, 'hearsay' society where relationships are often so fake, or surface, or relatively pointless - where there is arguing for no reason - where there are feelings hurt - where there is a state of fear of showing people your heart - where there is gossip - and too much pride - and immaturity - and man, just be real. Be real in a place of calm, away from the chaos.

I would spend a week alone. A week with Erin. A week with Bri. A week with my mom. A week with my dad. A week with AJ. A week with Carla. A week with my nephew Tyler. A week with Lindsay Koeper. A week with my grandma's. A week with Georgia (random - I know -I just met her 5 days ago - but I think that it would be totally cool to spend a week with someone you don't really know well....what better place to learn about them?). A week with my sister. Those would be some of my top priorities - each for various, well thought out reasons (yea, I seriously thought about why I would choose each one of those people at the beginning and why) - but there are tons more that would be included in my weeks too, so don't feel left out folks. (Including, but not limited to: Mark, Grant, Stark, Stacy, Heather, Marie, Rachel, Leslie, Meghan, Joel, and so many more....).

Can you imagine what you would learn about someone spending a week in the woods alone with them with nothing else and no one else pressing in? With no fear. With no alternative motives. Just sharing life. Unadulterated, pure, LIFE. No distractions. No tv. No internet. Nothing of this outside world.

Oh man.......just imagine...........


(I've spent the past hour thinking about it. Crazy. I would apparently REALLY love this.)