late night thoughts...rambles...

A lot has changed recently - or is about to change in my life.

I finished up my 4th semester of 9 here in PT school which means I'm almost halfway finished...and that, my friends, is crazy and exciting and scary all at the same time. It is absolutely FLYING by.

I moved out of my apartment I have lived in the past year here in Charleston and into an apartment down the road with my friend Bri. BUT, in 10 days I must temporarily "move out" again and move to Columbia for my first rotation. Once again - exciting but scary. Apparently the patient population I will be seeing a lot of are "neuro patients" (stroke patients, brain injuries, etc.) - which should be challenging, and interesting, and rewarding, and scary and all of that good stuff packed into one.

I've been learning things...slowly (and sometimes painfully)...but "learning" nevertheless which is wonderful. I'm learning new things about myself, my shortcomings, my thoughts, things about other people, about relationships, friendships, things I value, etc.

I've been busy with finals. I cared about them but didn't all at the same time. I'm glad I'm finished. I know I probably didn't give it my "best" effort - which may reflect a little in my grades - but well - it's over now. I'd much rather have a little fun, invest a little in relationships, and sustain stable mental health than ace every exam I have to take. Personal preference, I guess.

I went shopping today. It was nice because I've been in the mood to shop for weeks now.

I really love art and creativity and photography -- I wish it was something I was great at. I have the ideas - I have it in my head...something not too many people probably know about me (or anyone I guess)...but it just doesn't ever come out too often I guess due to resources (I can't afford the really great things that I want or love), lack of tangible artistic talent to "create" things myself, etc. I wish it had an avenue of escape sometimes....I wish people could see inside my head.

Would it surprise you if I told you my favorite movies are musicals and always have been? Would it surprise you if I told you how much I love the symphony, or how much I love ballroom dancing (and wish I could be really great at it)? Would it surprise you to know that I could walk around art museums all day long and be happy - or sit in a coffee shop or bookstore for days reading? Would you be surprised if I told you how much I love reading poetry or that I really would love to learn how to quilt?

I wish I was a better writer. Or well, maybe not "better" - but I wish I actually sat down and let that be an avenue of escape of my emotions or thoughts. I usually just let them drip dry inside of my head.

Hugs are one of the greatest things God invented. Deep hugs.

I miss my friend, Erin. I miss our crazy antics. California is too far away and I am far too poor. She spilled blueberries tonight all down the aisle in the grocery store and I wish I could have been there to laugh at her...and with her...but mostly just at her.

I am in the mood to go to the mountains...to play the guitar...to sing at the top of my lungs...to be myself and not always worried I'm going to do something wrong...

I'm going to drift off to dream now...goodnight.