when it's TOTALLY ok to use a bad word:

BFF???

Tonight I got to thinking about friendships a little bit. Friendships are such an amazing blessing that we DEFINITELY shouldn't take for granted. I'd venture to say that you can't beat a "real" friendship.

I'm not talking about those "our only communication is through writing on each other's facebook or myspace walls" or "we have small talk once every few months" or "we used to be friends in high school so we are friends by default and talk on occassion" - no, no - that is not at all what I am talking about. Yea, those can be good too, but the friendships I am talking about are those honest, real, deep, caring, loving, I'd give you the shirt off my back friendships. Those, "they know me, and care about me, and love me without question" friendships.

They can be friendships that have lasted for 10 years or more, or 10 weeks or less - but you know when you've found one - and you should never ever take it for granted. Let those people care about you, and you do the same for them. Share with them. Cry for them and cry with them. Hug them every time you see them. Tell them you love them (and the great thing is - they believe you and know without question that you mean it). Ask them the hard questions. Answer the hard questions. Be honest. Be nice. Be unselfish. Look them in the eyes. Laugh together. Be broken together. Spend time together. Take trips together. Get coffee together.

Rarely do my friend Lindsay and I go a conversation with one another without asking the intentional question of "how is your heart?" And the great thing is - we give each other the real answers. Not "it's good, thanks, how's yours?" We give each other the "it's heavy...." or "it's confused...." or "it's rejoicing..." or "it's healing...." and then explain why. And we listen. Whether there is advice to give, or not, and whether we can "fix" each other's problems or not doesn't really matter....it's that we care to ask, and we listen intently to each other's response. That is friendship. It's caring enough to ask, and listen, and do anything in your power to help that person know that they are loved.

So go ahead, be real. Why trod through life with a mask covering up your heart? The people that really care about you truly do WANT to know the real you....and when you find those friendships, grab ahold of them tightly and hang on. They are sometimes rare, so treat them like the blessing that they are.

Here's a good resolution for 2007: Be an amazing friend, because in Godly friendships you will be blessed beyond belief.

a little more of 2006

To add to my previous post, 2006 also had some really great times. School was awesome, I started dating an amazing man, I got a new niece, I got to sit next to Rachel Beckler everyday in class, got to see my friend Carla get married, got to see some amazing concerts, started going to a phenomenal church, went on my first clinical rotation, etc. etc. etc. Don't worry - it wasn't all bad - it DEFINITELY had its moments of greatness.

Chris Rice

If you haven't heard this Chris Rice song, called "Untitled Hymn" (Come to Jesus) - you should really download it, or listen to it online. I wish I knew how to post just a song on here, but I don't, and am not sure if you can even do that. There were a few YouTube videos that played the song, but they were cheesy so I decided not to post them. But it's a good way to hear the song if you want to give it a listen (and watch). The piano and vocals in this song are pure and simple and will move you.

"Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live"

2006.

Reflection:

2006 was by far the worst year of my life. But, along with the worst year of my life, I also think it is the year where I have learned the most and perhaps the year that I have grown the most.

It has been a very "real" year, if that makes any sense. Life was a roller coaster ride, in which (to steal a thought from Incubus), I felt like I was not strapped in a lot of the time.

But, I have truly learned what grace is. I have seen the grace of God cover my life, I have been shown grace not only from the Lord, but from some of my closest friends, and I have experienced what it truly means show others grace. And that, my friends, is huge. Grace is amazing - and it truly is a sweet, sweet sound.

I felt bondage, but then experienced freedom. My heart wept, but was able to sing praises of joy when the tears were dried. I have felt guilt and forgiveness; pain and pleasure; the weight of a broken heart and the weightlessness of picking up the pieces. My soul has been torn apart and mended; my faith questioned and proven, and Christ has shown me His love.

So, in all of the hurt, in all of the pain, in all of the brokenness that this past year brought, I am able to "rejoice in my sufferings, because I know that suffering produces perserverence; perserverance; charachter; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into my heart by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given me." (Romans 5)

Thank you, Lord for the worst year of my life, in which in the end, I have seen and experienced the power of your mercy and the fullness of your grace.

ohhhh good times....

Tonight I'm standing in my driveway with Bri and this conversation takes place:

"oh god, look, it's a beaver!" -Bri
(I turn around to see what she's talking about)
"umm, that's a raccoon Bri." -Katie

as the raccoon waddles across the yard into the bushes we laugh hysterically at the process of events that just took place....

oh goodness. that was fantastic.

(although I'm sure you had to be there to think it was as funny as it really was).

Merry Christmas

ah, Christmas is upon us. Santa Clause visited my nephews which was fun. Last night I helped spread the reindeer food (which looked like a mixture of oatmeal and glitter) and helped put together a "Diego!" bike for Tyler to awake to. It was full of family and good times (not to mention lots of food). Tomorrow I head to New York to hangout with Mark and his family for a few days, which is pretty exciting. Here are a few pictures from the day of all of the "kids" in the family these days. It's grown pretty extensively these past few years if I do say so myself. haha.

a beggar's plea.

stop the attack
lay your weapons down
my armor has been peeled away
yet the swords still seem to swing

slow your words
they are burning my ears
they are staining my heart
they are etching themselves in my brain

I am tired
tired of the questions
tired of the questions you are asking
tired of the questions you are making me ask

I want to be free
I want to rest in healing
I want to discover the answers

I just want love.

2 of my best...

I hungout with these two jokers tonight. It was a good time. We went to the "tap room" (where I proceeded to see about 7-10 of my old high school friends) and just got to have some fun conversation for awhile. I miss the old days. Joel and I used to stay up til the wee hours of the morning and talk but it seems like it's been FOREVER since that happend...it was nice to have it happen again. It's one of those totally honest relationships that are hard to come by sometimes - so it was really great. So, here's to old friends that are still some of the greatest.... Cheers!

Carrot Top

I stood approximately 2 feet away from Carrot Top today. I was in line buying Mark a Christmas present (at a location I can't name currently so he won't figure out his present), and there he was - standing in line right in front of me. I didn't realize it was him, although I had noticed the guy in the store when I was walking around - but I didn't stare at him or anything or really look at his face. But after he walked away from the register, I heard the guy say "no, that wasn't him, was it?" and the girl said "yea - that was definitely him" and another guy behind the counter said "yea - it was him, I've seen him perform before...." --- I was like "who are you talking about?" and they said "Carrot Top."

I told them to look at his receipt to see if his name was on it, but they said he paid with cash, and then I responded with - who really knows his real name anyway? then we proceeded to joke about how the guy should have said "have a good day Mr. Top" and things of the sort when he left...

Well, I paid and walked out the door and there he as driving right in front of me in the parking lot - and I got a look at him - and it was him alright. Driving a REALLY nice black Land Rover with a Florida tag on it.

He had on a really tight shirt - and he was RIPPED (that is what I noticed when I saw him walking around in the store earlier - I just noticed how big he was) - and a tobagan on to keep his hair down. He was actually quite cute (and really fashionable).

But yea - there was my brush with fame today. I called Mark and told him that one of his gifts had been a mere foot away from stardom. It was really fun....crazy how stuff like that works...how it's exciting to see somebody "famous" - even if I didn't talk to him.

(I probably would have told him a really corny joke if I would have known it was him as he was checking out - like "what is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?" "Santa's burp" and told him to use it when he's on stage. It's probably a good thing I didn't realize it was him until after the fact. haha).